Overheard in the Common Room: A Play

Scene: The Graduate Common Room. Lunchtime.

Two LINGUISTS are sitting in the Common Room. The FIRST LINGUIST is producing a series of incomprehensible noises.

A NON-LINGUIST enters, hears the FIRST LINGUIST, and assumes an alarmed expression.

The SECOND LINGUIST attempts to reassure the NON-LINGUIST that the FIRST LINGUIST is not, in fact, suffering from some kind of fit.

SECOND LINGUIST: Don’t worry; it’s Bactrian.

The NON-LINGUIST unaccountably fails to look reassured.